Loving Him is Red
by AmazingHefi
Summary: Sometimes, love drains you when it should elate you. It hurts and there's nothing you can do about it. Various KnB x Reader Some one-shots may be disturbing
1. Chapter 1

Poison [Akashi Seijuro]

Loving him was poison. You could feel it enter your circulation, make your every cell scream in pain- for him, because of him. Every single time he looked at you with those heterochromatic eyes of his, you could feel yourself grow weaker, more humble and subservient.

Each day, you would break a little more, waste away a little more. Why? Because you gave a piece of yourself to him. Why? Because, your love for him was too great, too addictive and amazing. Why? Because no one ever looked at you the way he did, no one paid attention to your words like he, no one knew you as well as he.

But... Akashi did not love you. He only took and gave nothing in return and, if you were called a fool behind your back- sometimes in your face- you did not mind. Such was the extent of your adoration.

Akashi Seijuro was the Sun, the moon and all the stars above.


	2. Chapter 2

Hurt [Aomine Daiki]

Let me look away from you eyes, those dark blue orbs. They are so intense.

They mock, point out all of my insecurities, dig out every flaw I have. Why do you look at me like that? Like I am no good, a waste of time? I do not want to be someone you only play with.

You look at others the way you have never looked at me, Daiki. You love other women more than me, then you comment their breasts and bodies in front of me with that damn smirk on your face.

Do you know how much it hurts?

Despite all of that, all of your mocking words, I still love you.

I won't leave you.

I can't- it physically hurts when I think about it.


	3. Chapter 3

Lazy Lover [Murasakibara Atsushi]

You're like a child- a dimwitted child well on its way to become an idiot. And you're so lazy.

I want you to be the one to initiate romance between us, I want you to take me against the wall or just cage me in and wrap yourself around me.

Have you ever thought of being more active? Of tearing my clothes off and teasing me until I beg for you on my knees, trembling and hot all over?

Each time we make love, I feel like you are not into it. Yeah, you're there, hard and warm, feeling so good inside of me but I am doing all the work while you just lie there and have no decency to stop sucking on a lollipop.

So lazy.

So pathetic and demeaning.

Our bed is full of crumbs instead of love. If it weren't for the cookies, it would have been too cold to lie in.


	4. Chapter 4

Fate [Midorima Shintaro]

Let me touch you, allow me to enter your walls. Why do you deny my love and affection so much? Am I not good enough?

Oh, Oha Asa claims we are not compatible? Where is the proof that our hearts would never beat as one, that, together, we would be a catastrophe waiting to happen?

Don't push me away. Let me love you. Sometimes, you should screw fate over and do what you want- not what that flighty mistress wants.

I could show you freedom, a world with no restrictions and worries. I could help you pave the way through life, show you love like no other.

Are you afraid or just a coward?


	5. Chapter 5

Stay [Kise Ryota]

Ryota was always like a puppy to you, always bouncing around and barking happily. He was handsome, very talented at modeling and basketball. You didn't mind that.

What you did mind was a lack of privacy you two had to deal with. Every time you two went out for a date- be it a dinner or karaoke- it would be ruined by Ryota's fans, reporters or paparazzi. You also minded the way he placed Kuroko on a pedestal, almost constantly talking about the Phantom Boy.

You didn't want to say anything to Ryota about your thought and feelings on his actions, you were too afraid that he would leave you if he thought you were trying to hold him back, tie him down.

You yearned for Ryota to focus on you, shower you with more attention- you hardly ever saw him- you wanted to be more with him, listen to him talk about his day, whine about Kasamatsu being mean and kicking him down. You wished Ryota would cuddle with you on the couch instead of running around.

Why couldn't he just stay for a little while longer?


	6. Chapter 6

Goodbye [Haizaki Shougo]

You watched the clock tick. He was late. Again.

It was happening more often as time passed by. Your heart gave a painful wrench as you glanced down at the dinner you have slaved over. You took out a box of cigarettes, lighting one up and drawing the bitter smoke in. You wondered why did you even fall in love with a man like Shougo. He was rude, crude, cruel and flirty with everyone but you.

First few months have been lovely. Shougo and you have had fun, going out to see movies, grab a dinner, take a walk in the park, even play basketball one-on-one. He was attentive, loving, at first but now, after six months of a relationship, he was cold. so cold. Tears made your eyes sting but you did not let them fall- you never did, not even when you were alone. You took your phone and dialed Shougo's number, swallowing when you were connected with the answering machine.

"Hey, Shougo." You started, tapping away so the ashes would fall off. "I, uh... I am leaving. When you come home, dinner is in the microwave. I... Yeah, this is a goodbye. So, bye, Haizaki-san."

You hanged up, laughing bitterly as pain ripped through you. Why did you have to love such a bastard?


	7. Chapter 7

Rejection [Kuroko Tetsuya]

"I like you, Kuroko-kun." I confess, smiling at the light blue haired boy in front of me.

I fidget nervously as he stares at me, his eyes widening slightly. Was it shock? Pleasure?

"I am sorry, (Name)-chan." Kuroko whispered, smiling sadly at me. "But I do not like you like that. You are my friend, the only sane one."

His hands cupped my face when tears started sliding down my cheeks, his thumbs wiping away the salty liquid. My own hands came to hold his against my face as I closed my eyes to enjoy the warmth of his palms. I was still smiling even though my heart was being ripped apart.

I couldn't hate Kuroko for not loving me and that hurt even more because... Because I wanted to. I loved him too much to hate him.

"It's alright, Kuroko-kun. It's completely fine as long as we stay friends, okay?" I don't want to lose you.

"Always." He pulled me in a brief hug.

His comfort hurt more than the rejection.


	8. Chapter 8

Let Me Go [Hanamiya Makoto]

Your right cheek burned in pain, but that was nothing compared to the ache in your heart and the burn in your eyes. He was just standing there, glaring at you as if everything was your fault. And, maybe, it was. After all, you did taunt him, insulted him over and over again during your argument and he just snapped. Makoto's arm was still raised, frozen in the air, after he slapped you. Even he seemed shocked with what he has done.

But Makoto was shocked every time he hurt you, every single time his palm connected with your face, his fist made contact with your stomach and bruises littered your body. Always, it was always like that- ever since you two have started going out. Sure, you were aware how Makoto was but, when he asked you out, he was a perfect boyfriend: sweet, playful, mischievous. Loving Makoto was easy, he had a dark, seductive, aura surrounding him but, maybe, that was just the danger.

Out of three years of your relationship, two of them were pure hell of physical abuse and Makoto's apologies, promises that he would never do such a thing again. But, he broke that promise more times than you could count.

"Oh god," Makoto chocked, falling to his knees and cupping your face with his trembling hands. They were so gentle now, so warm and you couldn't help but lean into his touch though fear burned your veins. "I am so sorry, so, so sorry."

Your jaw ached as you smiled, placing your hands over his and caressed them with your thumbs. Makoto leaned his forehead against yours, eyes tightly shut in, what you've perceived as, regret.

"Are you going to cry?" You whispered, voice shaking.

"It feels like it."

"Then why do you hurt me? Do you find my pain so amusing, Makoto?"

"NO!" Makoto snapped, moving away from you as if you punched him. "I love you. It's just... Before I know it, my arms are already moving and, when I do realize, it is already too late and you're... And you're on the ground, looking up at me with those disappointed eyes and you look so afraid..."

"I love you, Makoto, but..." Your voice cracked as you swallowed down your tears. You won't cry anymore. "But I can't be with you if you continue like this."

"I love you too."

"Will you let me go?"

"Give me one more day for goodbye." He, the tough Hanamiya Makoto, sounded as broken as you and something tugged at your heartstrings. Dark eyes gazed into your (color) orbs, begging for just one day. "Please? Let me love you once more."

Nodding, you pulled Makoto closer to you, closing your eyes and kissing him deeply as your fingers tangled in his hair. Your chest was heaving when he broke the kiss, abandoning your lips to kiss the place where he hit you. So gentle and sweet he was being. Makoto slowly made love with you, paying special attention to each one of your erogenous zones, keeping himself in check.

The next morning, he helped you collect your things, never once meeting your eyes until it was time for you to go. Giving him one last kiss, you said your goodbye.


	9. Chapter 9

Help [Kiyosi Teppei]

I didn't mind how Teppei used me. Me being some kind of physical therapy was extremely pleasurable and I felt good because I helped him in some way. Still, Teppei was not the same man like before Riko left him. Sure, he was kind, sweet, happy guy but there were times when I wondered if he would take his life. During those times, Teppei would call me, begging me for help and I would leave everything behind just to kiss and caress his pain away- even though it was temporary.

I have never expected to fall in love with him, though. Teppei was my friend and I felt like it was my duty to do anything in my power to help him go through a rough time in his life, even if it meant that I would use my own body to help him.

Teppei told me I remind him of Riko- the shape of our mouth, our character, the way we took controls in an iron grip... I don't think Teppei realized how much those words stabbed me straight through the heart and left me bleeding for a long time.

I knew that Teppei would never love me the way he loves Riko. Riko was his first love, a love which many people thought perfect and a match made in heaven.

Maybe, I wasn't really helping him.

Why can't I make him forget about her?


	10. Chapter 10

Doll [Takao Kazunari]

There is something in the way her pretty eyes gloss over with tears when I make a rude comment or hurt her in any other way. Her lips tremble and brows wrinkle as she tries to keep in the anger, the sorrow. Yet, the tears always manage to fall and I want nothing more than to keep hurting her just to see that happen. She doesn't understand how much more beautiful she is when she's broken, when hope seems to leave her eyes and I am the puppeteer, a grand master, of her.

"Takao..." She would sob, averting her eyes in shame.

I would smirk and watch her fall to her knees with a thump which surely was a proof of the pain the fall caused but she would never make a sound. I'd crouch beside her bowed head and tangle my fingers in her hair, gently brushing it for a few moments before pulling her head up harshly and making her face me. She would make a lovely sound, a moan full of pain, but she wouldn't make a move to free herself.

"Cry for me." I'd order, whispering in her ear, my lips brushing against the lobe. "Don't worry, there is no one here to hear you but me."

I love to break her, smash her into tinny tiny pieces until she's like putty in my hands, ready to be molded by me. Like a doll, she never resisted and enjoyed the way I played with her, my touches on her body and the care I provide after.


	11. Chapter 11

Violated [Mayuzumi]

I rarely had some time all for myself. My life was hectic. Hurrying from point A to B, from B to C and back to A. But there were rare days when I only wanted to sleep and never get up, pig out on the most unhealthy food and watch TV.

Unfortunately on those days, I always felt like someone was watching me. The gaze wasn't threatening but it was uncomfortable- especially because I could feel its heat even in my home, a place that was supposed to be my sanctuary. My friends told me I was paranoid and laughed my fears off.

To be frank, I laughed it all off too. Until I finally noticed him one Saturday. He was silver haired, tall and difficult to notice but... I guess he wanted me to notice otherwise... I believe I would have stayed oblivious for the rest of my life.

He disappeared from my sight three streets later but I could still feel that blank stare on me.

The next week, I constantly felt his stare. Everywhere I went, he was there. People's eyes went over him as if he were a ghost but I could see flashes of him- each time closer and closer until his fingers brushed my wrist.

"What do you want from me?" I asked into the darkness of my room. My purse fell with a thud to the floor when movement appeared near the window.

"From you?" The man snorted and stepped out into the moonlight or what little of it came in through the gap between the curtains. "Don't be foolish."

"Then why are you following me? Why are you here?"

"Because," he approached me until he was just an inch away from me. "I love your distressed face, despair in your eyes and it turns me on so much!" His arms snapped around me, pressing me to his hard body so swiftly that I didn't even manage to draw breath for a scream. "And I could cum from this pretty look on your face. Now, it would be even better if you..." the man smiled chillingly and pulled on my hair hard. "Would scream, sweetie."

And I did and he enjoyed it far more than any psycho I've heard of could. His clothes were red with my blood, his face held a maniacal grin and, what scared me the most, his pale eyes were burning like the brightest of Suns.

The psychopath bent over my prone body, lips pressed into my hairline. This gentleness was much scarier than the kicks and punches. "See you later, babe." He whispered and walked out of my room.

I heard the door of my home close but I didn't move for at least fifteen minutes after he left.

I couldn't look myself in the mirror, feeling violated despite the fact that the assault wasn't sexual. I blamed myself for being so stupid, for not calling the police long before.

As the water in the shower washed away the blood, I wished nothing more than to disappear from the face of the Earth.


	12. Chapter 12

Everything (Himuro Tatsuya)

Himuro was a charismatic guy and many people fell for his smooth talk and that smile of his. Of course, not many realized how condescending that smile was. Or how dangerous it could be.

You see, I have been in a relationship with that man for a long time- four years and three months, to be exact. Shit began hitting the fan the first time I forgot to tell Himuro that the colleague I was hanging out with after work was a guy. It happened a year or so ago.

We began to fight more often. Himuro didn't lash out but he tried to keep me on the leash. He managed, I don't know how, to get me fired. Himuro mid everything possible to keep me at home or by his side.

"You'll cheat on me."

"Let you out? Hah, so you can run away with some asshole? I'm the only one who could love you!"

Himuro's words were like poison, hitting right where the wounds were not yet completely healed. I could feel myself sinking into the black hole of desperation, self-loathing and self-hate. I became dependant on Himuro, his smiles and smooth, deceitful words. And the worst thing?

I didn't mind that at all. Himuro became everything to me.


End file.
